Anticipation....no matter how much you think it shouldn't bother you...it does...and once it's over...what a relief!!
Just the thought of having to go to the hospital and even knowing what they are going to do....isn't a pleasant feeling. Between Newton and Sloan - the 'sounds' and 'smell' are different. Being in Newton brought back memories of when my Mom was in the emergency room - with the 'beeping' of the monitors. I think they are all the same - but this hospital sounded different...or maybe it was just a flash back memory.
We left here (Charlie and I), at 10:35 to get there at 11....checked in....then went to the outpatient area....Dr. O'Brien was running ahead of time! Which is funny....the nurses know and I - as using him more than several times....that he is never early. But today he was! I was scheduled for surgery at 1 and they took me at 12:15! Left the hospital at 2 ish...
It was so nice to drive less than one half hour to get to the hospital in Newton rather than driving and parking the car and taking over 2 hours to get to NYC....and being home so early too...no traffic!!!
They gave me a choice of fluids: apple juice, soda, or water...I opted for the apple juice...boy did that taste good going down! Came home and made pizza (for one). Charlie and Paul went food shopping. I checked what they bought when they came home....of course - they did a great job but...they did forget a few items...I have a tendency to over buy...so I still have 'some' stuff that I originally wanted...sale items....oh well....next week I'll get them and re-stock!
The 'new' installed port is a little uncomfortable....although I may take a pain pill...it's really not that bad - just when I get up and down ---guess I'm moving the muscles in my upper chest when I move....I will probably sleep on one of our recliner chairs tonight too. It maybe a little more comfortable than trying to lay on my back or right side or even getting up out of bed during the night - to do my thing....(my old lady thing: getting up to use the bathroom!)
Tomorrow Charlie is coming with me for my first chemo - last one was way back in January! I can go alone but I told Charlie if he has any questions - this is the time to ask!
The waiting game begins - again!
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
Monday, July 9th
My computer is sick! Has lots of 'threats' on it...but I'm not contagious!!!! If you get anything...it's not from me!
I am scheduled for tomorrow (Tuesday) to have the 'new' port put in. I had it removed when I had the one liver lesion ablated in April....that last round of chemo did me in and I just didn't ever want to go through that again.....but now....I have to do it all over again!
Then on Wednesday I start my chemo 'cocktail' all over again. Not sure how long I will have to go...as I am scheduled for a CT and MRI scan the end of August and the first week of Sept. I have an appt. in NYC to see Dr. Kemeny again. Right now the cocktail will be administered in Sparta and both doctors: Dr. K and Dr. May will work together to decide on 'what' cocktail and the amount to be given.
They say, as I forgot, that I shouldn't work until 10 days after the port is in....so I'll have a mini vacation.
Today I changed my bed sheets so I don't have to worry about that. Last night I totally enjoyed sleeping on my left side with my arm under the pillow...which will be very uncomfortable once the port is put back in. Very busy today....
And so, a new journey begins....................last round of chemo ended January 4th; ablation and port removed on April 4th; and now a new port and chemo.......
I am scheduled for tomorrow (Tuesday) to have the 'new' port put in. I had it removed when I had the one liver lesion ablated in April....that last round of chemo did me in and I just didn't ever want to go through that again.....but now....I have to do it all over again!
Then on Wednesday I start my chemo 'cocktail' all over again. Not sure how long I will have to go...as I am scheduled for a CT and MRI scan the end of August and the first week of Sept. I have an appt. in NYC to see Dr. Kemeny again. Right now the cocktail will be administered in Sparta and both doctors: Dr. K and Dr. May will work together to decide on 'what' cocktail and the amount to be given.
They say, as I forgot, that I shouldn't work until 10 days after the port is in....so I'll have a mini vacation.
Today I changed my bed sheets so I don't have to worry about that. Last night I totally enjoyed sleeping on my left side with my arm under the pillow...which will be very uncomfortable once the port is put back in. Very busy today....
And so, a new journey begins....................last round of chemo ended January 4th; ablation and port removed on April 4th; and now a new port and chemo.......
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
When a holiday falls in the middle of the week - I never remember what day it is....I now know it's Thursday! but I will still have to look at a calendar if you'd ask me again!!
Went to finally have a bite for lunch about 2:30 ish....the phone rang - and it was the surgeon, Dr. Allen. He said he was sorry he didn't call me any sooner as he has been in conferences for the past few days. He agrees with Dr. Kemeny that I should do the 'regular' chemo first - to get the two lesions from my lungs....and 'yes' it is written in the report....Dr. Allen also said I'm still a good candidate for this pump....but we will now take baby steps and see what the 'new' CT and MRI scan show --- appointment is scheduled for late August.
I also asked him 'why' I would still need regular chemo while getting this chemo with the pump. He said he's not too sure IF that would be needed after these new lesions are gone (liver and lungs)....but I'd have to be monitored very closely - having the scans.....
I also mentioned to him about the waiting time - while waiting I would greatly appreciate hearing 'any' news (good or bad) ahead of time so I can deal with the situation. He said he would note that in my file and agrees with me.
Then I lost my appetite! I did get it back a short while later!!! Heavens to Betsy - ME, how could I ever skip a meal???!!!!
I also received a call from Dr. May's nurse and she is going to see if I can do the chemo next week - the day after or next to begin the chemo.....I also said that Dr. Kemeny would 'suggest' what chemo to use. She and Dr. May would work together. So, she will see if they have the Panatumab in - or Dr. K. said she would be able to get it....
Oh this is so exciting! NOT....to begin all this - again....One step forward - two steps back....but I'm still alive! and feeling quite well!
I'll never stop saying this....Thank YOU (all) for emailing me back and expressing your feelings of support! I think you are all special - giving words of being positive when it's so hard to find them yourself....for those of you that 'have no words to share'....I understand!!! Everyone expresses themselves in different ways....but I did want to 'thank you' for being there - on the other end - reading (listening) to my woes.
Went to finally have a bite for lunch about 2:30 ish....the phone rang - and it was the surgeon, Dr. Allen. He said he was sorry he didn't call me any sooner as he has been in conferences for the past few days. He agrees with Dr. Kemeny that I should do the 'regular' chemo first - to get the two lesions from my lungs....and 'yes' it is written in the report....Dr. Allen also said I'm still a good candidate for this pump....but we will now take baby steps and see what the 'new' CT and MRI scan show --- appointment is scheduled for late August.
I also asked him 'why' I would still need regular chemo while getting this chemo with the pump. He said he's not too sure IF that would be needed after these new lesions are gone (liver and lungs)....but I'd have to be monitored very closely - having the scans.....
I also mentioned to him about the waiting time - while waiting I would greatly appreciate hearing 'any' news (good or bad) ahead of time so I can deal with the situation. He said he would note that in my file and agrees with me.
Then I lost my appetite! I did get it back a short while later!!! Heavens to Betsy - ME, how could I ever skip a meal???!!!!
I also received a call from Dr. May's nurse and she is going to see if I can do the chemo next week - the day after or next to begin the chemo.....I also said that Dr. Kemeny would 'suggest' what chemo to use. She and Dr. May would work together. So, she will see if they have the Panatumab in - or Dr. K. said she would be able to get it....
Oh this is so exciting! NOT....to begin all this - again....One step forward - two steps back....but I'm still alive! and feeling quite well!
I'll never stop saying this....Thank YOU (all) for emailing me back and expressing your feelings of support! I think you are all special - giving words of being positive when it's so hard to find them yourself....for those of you that 'have no words to share'....I understand!!! Everyone expresses themselves in different ways....but I did want to 'thank you' for being there - on the other end - reading (listening) to my woes.
comments....FYI
FYI....
just in case you try to leave a 'comment'...for some unknown reason - I haven't gotten them....so if you'd like to 'comment'...just send me an email....
just in case you try to leave a 'comment'...for some unknown reason - I haven't gotten them....so if you'd like to 'comment'...just send me an email....
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
The Palm Beach Post REAL NEWS STARTS HERE - Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Doc's poem a tribute to survivors
Dr. Jerome Spunberg is a radiation oncologist who has worked in South Florida for more than two decades. He is a poet and wrote a poem for a group of survivors in 2002. He showed it to me and I thought the sentiments were still applicable 10 years later. Here is a tribute to survivors -- past, present and future:
Our lives are unpredictable, so little we control
So much is still a mystery -- our origins, our soul
We often pause to wonder why things happen as they do
We all must face our challenges, it could be me or you
But how we play the cards we're dealt, is something we control
We're often really unprepared to play our given role.
We often learn right on the job, the job that must be done
In caring for someone we love, a mother, a friend, or son.
We all are born with instincts, chief among them to survive
There is a force within us pushing us to stay alive
A force we're not aware of until threat of death appears
A force that helps us overcome our squeamishness and fears
A force that moves you to go on, when you feel like turning back
A force that keep you on the path, like horses on a track
A force that makes you stronger than you ever thought you'd be
A force that's inspirational, that sets your spirit free
And all of you are testament to courage at its best
The courage to put pessimism, hopeless to rest
The courage that inspires you to go that extra mile
The courage to come in that day, when you would rather quit
The courage to get up and walk when you would rather sit
The courage to sit down to eat, when food has no appeal
The courage to go on with life no matter how you feel
To celebrate how far you've come, how much you have endured
So much doubt, uncertainty, the outcome not assured
To reach this point, to stand up proud, knowing that the way,
The secret to survival is to take it day by day
And so we now salute you, for you all we do admire
Your presence here is moving, you encourage, you inspire
You are a prime example of the heroes we can be
The strength that we discover as we face adversity
So raise your glasses high and toast the heroes that you are
Ordinary people with the strength to get this far
Living proof to everyone that we all have the drive
To live life to the fullest, yes, able all, to survive!
==========
Dr. Melanie Bone is a cancer survivor and gynecologist who practices in West Pal Beach. Have a question? Go to http://www.cancersensibiltyfoundation.org/ or PalmBeachPost.com/health (click on the 'ask a question' link). Any questions submitted to Dr. Bone will be considered for her column. You may also visit http://www.cancershopusa.com/
The courage to put pessimism, hopelessness to rest.
The courage to wake up each day, and try to wear a smile
The courage that inspires you fo go that extra mile
The courage to come in that day, when you would rather call it quits
Dr. Jerome Spunberg is a radiation oncologist who has worked in South Florida for more than two decades. He is a poet and wrote a poem for a group of survivors in 2002. He showed it to me and I thought the sentiments were still applicable 10 years later. Here is a tribute to survivors -- past, present and future:
Our lives are unpredictable, so little we control
So much is still a mystery -- our origins, our soul
We often pause to wonder why things happen as they do
We all must face our challenges, it could be me or you
But how we play the cards we're dealt, is something we control
We're often really unprepared to play our given role.
We often learn right on the job, the job that must be done
In caring for someone we love, a mother, a friend, or son.
We all are born with instincts, chief among them to survive
There is a force within us pushing us to stay alive
A force we're not aware of until threat of death appears
A force that helps us overcome our squeamishness and fears
A force that moves you to go on, when you feel like turning back
A force that keep you on the path, like horses on a track
A force that makes you stronger than you ever thought you'd be
A force that's inspirational, that sets your spirit free
And all of you are testament to courage at its best
The courage to put pessimism, hopeless to rest
The courage that inspires you to go that extra mile
The courage to come in that day, when you would rather quit
The courage to get up and walk when you would rather sit
The courage to sit down to eat, when food has no appeal
The courage to go on with life no matter how you feel
To celebrate how far you've come, how much you have endured
So much doubt, uncertainty, the outcome not assured
To reach this point, to stand up proud, knowing that the way,
The secret to survival is to take it day by day
And so we now salute you, for you all we do admire
Your presence here is moving, you encourage, you inspire
You are a prime example of the heroes we can be
The strength that we discover as we face adversity
So raise your glasses high and toast the heroes that you are
Ordinary people with the strength to get this far
Living proof to everyone that we all have the drive
To live life to the fullest, yes, able all, to survive!
==========
Dr. Melanie Bone is a cancer survivor and gynecologist who practices in West Pal Beach. Have a question? Go to http://www.cancersensibiltyfoundation.org/ or PalmBeachPost.com/health (click on the 'ask a question' link). Any questions submitted to Dr. Bone will be considered for her column. You may also visit http://www.cancershopusa.com/
The courage to put pessimism, hopelessness to rest.
The courage to wake up each day, and try to wear a smile
The courage that inspires you fo go that extra mile
The courage to come in that day, when you would rather call it quits
CT PELVIS W/O CONTRAST
June 27, 2012
CLINICAL STATEMENT: Colon Cancer
TECHNIQUE: Multislice helical sections were obtained from the iliac crests tot eh public symphysis after oral contrast administration.
RADIATION DOSE (DLP): 509 mGy-cm
COMPARISON: CT of the pelvis dated April 1, 2011
FINDINGS:
PELVIC NODES: no adenopathy
PELVIC ORGANS: unremarkable
PERITONEUM/MESENTERY/BOWEL: Status post sigmoid resection.
BONES/SOFT TISSUES: Small punctate sclerotic lesion in the left acetabulum is stable and probably a bone island.
OTHER: NONE
IMPRESSION:
1. Since April 1, 2011 no findings to suggest metastatic disease in the pelvis
============
am I naive? and in denial? do I not want to see what Dr. Kemeny saw??? where does it state two new lesions in my lungs????
----------
CLINICAL STATEMENT: Colon Cancer
TECHNIQUE: Multislice helical sections were obtained from the iliac crests tot eh public symphysis after oral contrast administration.
RADIATION DOSE (DLP): 509 mGy-cm
COMPARISON: CT of the pelvis dated April 1, 2011
FINDINGS:
PELVIC NODES: no adenopathy
PELVIC ORGANS: unremarkable
PERITONEUM/MESENTERY/BOWEL: Status post sigmoid resection.
BONES/SOFT TISSUES: Small punctate sclerotic lesion in the left acetabulum is stable and probably a bone island.
OTHER: NONE
IMPRESSION:
1. Since April 1, 2011 no findings to suggest metastatic disease in the pelvis
============
am I naive? and in denial? do I not want to see what Dr. Kemeny saw??? where does it state two new lesions in my lungs????
----------
MR LIVER W/WO CONTRAST
June 27, 2012 MRI of abdomen
CLINICAL STATEMENT: Colon cancer
TECHNIQUE: Axial in- and out-of-phase T1-weighted; axial fat-saturated T2- weighted: coronal single-shot fast spin-echo T2-weighted; and dynamic Gadolinium-enhanced axial T1-weighted images were acquired.
COMPARISON: May 25, 2012
FINDINGS:
HEPATOBILIARY: Diffuse fatty liver. Stable 1.4 cm hemagioma in segment 7 and 1.1 cm hemagioma in segment 2 (since July 2011). Decreased size of ablation defect in segment 7 and associated linear ablation tract. Increased segment 4A liver metastasis measuring 1.0 x 1.0 cm, previously 0.8 x .05 cm. Increase in marginal recurrence along a segment 5/6 surgical margin, measuring 1.8 x 1.4 cm, previously 1.3 x 1.1 cm. No biliary dilatation. Conventional hepatic arterial anatomy.
SPLEEN: Unremarkable
PANCREAS: Unremarkable
ADRENAL GLANDS: Unremarkable
KIDNEYS: Bilateral renal cysts, including a right renal hemorrhagic/proteinaceous cyst. No hydronephrosis.
ABDOMINOPELIVIC NODES: No adenopathy
BONES/SOFT TISSUES: Unremarkable
OTHER: None
IMPRESSION:
1. Since May 25, 2012, increase in size of segment 4A and segment 6 liver metastases.
2. Conventional hepatic arterial anatomy.
==============================
so where does the two lesions show on the lungs????
=================================
CLINICAL STATEMENT: Colon cancer
TECHNIQUE: Axial in- and out-of-phase T1-weighted; axial fat-saturated T2- weighted: coronal single-shot fast spin-echo T2-weighted; and dynamic Gadolinium-enhanced axial T1-weighted images were acquired.
COMPARISON: May 25, 2012
FINDINGS:
HEPATOBILIARY: Diffuse fatty liver. Stable 1.4 cm hemagioma in segment 7 and 1.1 cm hemagioma in segment 2 (since July 2011). Decreased size of ablation defect in segment 7 and associated linear ablation tract. Increased segment 4A liver metastasis measuring 1.0 x 1.0 cm, previously 0.8 x .05 cm. Increase in marginal recurrence along a segment 5/6 surgical margin, measuring 1.8 x 1.4 cm, previously 1.3 x 1.1 cm. No biliary dilatation. Conventional hepatic arterial anatomy.
SPLEEN: Unremarkable
PANCREAS: Unremarkable
ADRENAL GLANDS: Unremarkable
KIDNEYS: Bilateral renal cysts, including a right renal hemorrhagic/proteinaceous cyst. No hydronephrosis.
ABDOMINOPELIVIC NODES: No adenopathy
BONES/SOFT TISSUES: Unremarkable
OTHER: None
IMPRESSION:
1. Since May 25, 2012, increase in size of segment 4A and segment 6 liver metastases.
2. Conventional hepatic arterial anatomy.
==============================
so where does the two lesions show on the lungs????
=================================
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)