Went for my two (2) scans today in Basking Ridge. I thought I knew how to get there without getting lost...but I also thought that the exit for Rt. 78 was a bit farther down the highway off of 287....I was suppose to get off exit 22 but turned around at exit 14!!! Of course Charlie was reading his book and didn't tell me until it was too late! Oh well, going 1/2 hour out of our way....what else is new....
Nice facility, nurse was strange...said that Sloan is the only and the best place to go for cancer treatments! Community hospitals and centers don't know what they are doing (or to put it a little nicer - they aren't up to date!)....made me feel real good - after doing this for over 2 years!!!
Had the MRI first....seemed like it took forever! They said they used a different type of 'drug' but didn't know why it was changed...this was just of the liver....Two times, I thought I was going to loose it...holding my breath! but I made it!!! Just seemed like every time I had to hold my breath - it was over 30 seconds!! which is really long, for me!!!! The last breath hold was about 15 seconds....and I was able to keep my arms at my side until the last 10 minutes - then over the head.
Then I had to drink the contrast...banana flavor (not to crazy about that flavor but that's all they had or raspberry drink). Then had to wait 90 minutes to have the CT scan...this one is the easiest!!! Hold your breath for about 10 to 15 seconds...four times! done! Scan took about 10 minutes - IF that long....and this was the chest and pelvis = what I call the whole body...but it's not.....
Stopped at Sam's Club on the way home.....it was such a beautiful day! Drove home with the top down...too chilly in the morning to have it down.
My back tooth broke off on Tuesday night. I was eating a pretzel nugget and got that feeling....something like a bone or piece of tooth in the chewing process!!! Uh oh!!! (funny thing...one of my friends emailed me telling me that this happened to her...thinking she was talking about me! how weird to have the same exact thing happen - by eating the pretzel nugget!!!) My dentist is closed on Wednesday's so I waited until I got home to call....seems they are on vacation until next Thursday! I also have a cavity in another molar on the other side....and I knew this since the end of May....when I called to make an appt. (in between beginning chemo) they were on vacation then too.....so I put it off....and now.....oh well....what else it new! Just hope the filling doesn't come out!
I'm feeling really good! It felt so good to get out and even stop at Sam's Club without worrying about my stomach!!! This is the way I want to feel!!!!!
I go next Wednesday (the 5th) to NYC to see Dr. Kemeny and hear what the scans show. Whatever she 'suggests' I do....I will tell her - I will think about it! I'm still upset with myself for rushing into getting this 'new' port put in and again 'hating' the chemo! I just did it because I thought that was the best thing to do....it may be....and we'll see if there is any 'good' change....but the next decision will be the toughest one for me to make....and I won't rush into any decision!
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
Friday, August 24th
This is great! I felt 99% better yesterday! It's about time!!! A full week of running....
I just cancelled my chemo #4 for Monday of this coming week. There is absolutely no way that I'd be able to be scanned in the MRI for a minimum of 30 minutes - now I feel better knowing I can do it!
My skin is still very dry....so flaky....ugh! You can slip off my face with the amount of moisturizer I have on!
Have a few finger/feet cuts going on as well as some mouth sores but nothing that is really bad.
I finally got my appetite back too! Which I am happy with the weight loss that I have...just with eating yesterday I gain 1 1/2 lbs....and I didn't realize I ate anything that wasn't good...well, I did finish the onion dip with some potato chips.....they were sooooo goood!!!! My downfall!!!
Well, it's time for breakfast! Wonder what I will have - probably just an egg and bread....but then there is lunch.....uh oh.....weight gain!!!!
I just cancelled my chemo #4 for Monday of this coming week. There is absolutely no way that I'd be able to be scanned in the MRI for a minimum of 30 minutes - now I feel better knowing I can do it!
My skin is still very dry....so flaky....ugh! You can slip off my face with the amount of moisturizer I have on!
Have a few finger/feet cuts going on as well as some mouth sores but nothing that is really bad.
I finally got my appetite back too! Which I am happy with the weight loss that I have...just with eating yesterday I gain 1 1/2 lbs....and I didn't realize I ate anything that wasn't good...well, I did finish the onion dip with some potato chips.....they were sooooo goood!!!! My downfall!!!
Well, it's time for breakfast! Wonder what I will have - probably just an egg and bread....but then there is lunch.....uh oh.....weight gain!!!!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Wednsday, August 22nd
I did #3 chemo last Monday (the 13th) AND I'm STILL feeling the side effects of it!!! I just can't take this anymore! It's so frustrating!!! I know I'm a home body...but when you really can't go anyplace - or want to go - I question myself as to 'why' I'm doing this!!!
I put this in God's hands months ago...then changed my mind....was I listening to Him or just doing what I thought was right?
I've seen inspirational videos where people with cancer have fought and then let their body take care of itself and it worked.....I know each and every one of us is different and I know God is there to take me on my journey......I know all that......I have an option that I'm highly thinking of - on the back burner of my mind....
I can see clearer now, thank God for that...it was such a strange feeling - do I go to the eye doctor or wait it out....waiting worked! I have a small mouth sore in my mouth. My face is just a little red and very dry. My eyes still itch. My head is good - no more itching but my hair is falling out (which I have no problem dealing with - I know it will grow back). I have this 'sore' on the ball of my foot...almost like a finger cut on the skin....and walking on it hurts a little...maybe friction from walking around in shoes without socks. This bathroom thing is the worst!
I did make it to and from the food store yesterday...ran into one of my friends and she could tell that I wanted to get in and out...poor lady, after she said hi and another sentence she walked off...I had no eye contact with anyone else - so if you were in the A&P yesterday and you saw me - I really didn't see you!
I emailed Dr. May and haven't gotten a reply. I emailed Dr. Kemeny (NYC) and told her - her nurse called me and said I HAD to go for the scan and see her the following week. For a nurse in her position (working with cancer patients) she was very gruff and rude!!! I asked if I'd be able to see the scans 'before' and she said 'no!' - Dr. won't allow that and she reads them the same day that you have the appt.....I just don't get this! It's my body, my scan - that my insurance is paying for and SHE gets to tell me this?!!! This is very frustrating!!!!
Sam called yesterday, all upset....said she can't come home for Christmas! She has to work the day before and after! She said WE have to go down there....now really....how can all of us go down there for one day? Told her it was her decision to go to school down there and choose that field to work -- we'll never see her on any holiday! She said she is going to try to come home on their fall break - in October......that would be good. I am so happy I have 'skype' if I didn't - I think we'd be down there!!!
I put this in God's hands months ago...then changed my mind....was I listening to Him or just doing what I thought was right?
I've seen inspirational videos where people with cancer have fought and then let their body take care of itself and it worked.....I know each and every one of us is different and I know God is there to take me on my journey......I know all that......I have an option that I'm highly thinking of - on the back burner of my mind....
I can see clearer now, thank God for that...it was such a strange feeling - do I go to the eye doctor or wait it out....waiting worked! I have a small mouth sore in my mouth. My face is just a little red and very dry. My eyes still itch. My head is good - no more itching but my hair is falling out (which I have no problem dealing with - I know it will grow back). I have this 'sore' on the ball of my foot...almost like a finger cut on the skin....and walking on it hurts a little...maybe friction from walking around in shoes without socks. This bathroom thing is the worst!
I did make it to and from the food store yesterday...ran into one of my friends and she could tell that I wanted to get in and out...poor lady, after she said hi and another sentence she walked off...I had no eye contact with anyone else - so if you were in the A&P yesterday and you saw me - I really didn't see you!
I emailed Dr. May and haven't gotten a reply. I emailed Dr. Kemeny (NYC) and told her - her nurse called me and said I HAD to go for the scan and see her the following week. For a nurse in her position (working with cancer patients) she was very gruff and rude!!! I asked if I'd be able to see the scans 'before' and she said 'no!' - Dr. won't allow that and she reads them the same day that you have the appt.....I just don't get this! It's my body, my scan - that my insurance is paying for and SHE gets to tell me this?!!! This is very frustrating!!!!
Sam called yesterday, all upset....said she can't come home for Christmas! She has to work the day before and after! She said WE have to go down there....now really....how can all of us go down there for one day? Told her it was her decision to go to school down there and choose that field to work -- we'll never see her on any holiday! She said she is going to try to come home on their fall break - in October......that would be good. I am so happy I have 'skype' if I didn't - I think we'd be down there!!!
Friday, August 17, 2012
Friday, August 17th
I went to bed - with my butt kissing the toilet seat....woke up the same way!!!! Getting up every two hours! How can a person hold 'that much stuff' inside???
I don't get the bad spasms....but I do know when it's coming! All of a sudden I get this 'sick' feeling....almost like I have gas...but, no way, will I attempt to 'try to eliminate' it while sitting on the couch!!!!
Not much of an appetite....more so, when I eat - about 1/2 hour to 1 hour - I gotta go! Poor Charlie and Paul...when they need to use the bathroom - they either have to go upstairs or downstairs...but thank goodness we have more than 1 toilet!!!! We have 4!! and I tend to use the same one all the time!!!
My eyesight is much better. It's amazing when it became clear again.....at least I know I'm not going crazy!
My face is 'red and blotchy' again....it doesn't hurt, my eyes are a little itchy - but I can see!....I'm just feeling a mouth sore on the inside of my cheek...doesn't hurt all that much - but I know it's there.
That's all folks! Thunderstorms hit a short while ago...as fast as they came - they moved on! Marlee was sitting - or trying to sit - under my desk here while I was sitting at the computer...she just has to be told she can go downstairs....it stopped raining and thundering but she's still down in the basement...neither one has eaten their dinner.....which is not unusual - they seem to like it when Charlie is here....dogs!!!
I don't get the bad spasms....but I do know when it's coming! All of a sudden I get this 'sick' feeling....almost like I have gas...but, no way, will I attempt to 'try to eliminate' it while sitting on the couch!!!!
Not much of an appetite....more so, when I eat - about 1/2 hour to 1 hour - I gotta go! Poor Charlie and Paul...when they need to use the bathroom - they either have to go upstairs or downstairs...but thank goodness we have more than 1 toilet!!!! We have 4!! and I tend to use the same one all the time!!!
My eyesight is much better. It's amazing when it became clear again.....at least I know I'm not going crazy!
My face is 'red and blotchy' again....it doesn't hurt, my eyes are a little itchy - but I can see!....I'm just feeling a mouth sore on the inside of my cheek...doesn't hurt all that much - but I know it's there.
That's all folks! Thunderstorms hit a short while ago...as fast as they came - they moved on! Marlee was sitting - or trying to sit - under my desk here while I was sitting at the computer...she just has to be told she can go downstairs....it stopped raining and thundering but she's still down in the basement...neither one has eaten their dinner.....which is not unusual - they seem to like it when Charlie is here....dogs!!!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Wednesday, August 15th = #3 week
Had my pump disconnect this morning.....had to wait a while and the weirdest thing happened....a gentleman sitting next to me, his cell phone went off in his pocket and decided to turn it off.....then MY pump started beeping....everyone began looking around and the gentleman sitting next to me thought it was his phone....told them it was me....then all of a sudden an alarm started beeping from my pump!!!! I didn't know what to do...I stood up to go into see one of the nurses but she came to the door calling me in. They all heard the alarm and didn't know where or who it was coming from! The nurse tried to turn the alarm off but couldn't and ended up taking the batteries out.....that was so weird!!!! Glad I was in the office when this went off...if I was still home - I would have panicked!!!
Dr. May lowered my dose again this week...due to my face and eyes still red....
The weirdest (I seem to be using that word alot) symptom I have been experiencing is my eye sight is blurry....It was okay the day OF the chemo and the following day...but now, again, today it's hard to see the TV clearly or even to read the TV Guide on the screen....this I do not like!!!
Another symptom is the steroid that I get along with the chemo....this time I slept pretty good and went to bed early....my face had cleared up too...again, I was able to see....I also had a good appetite.
My nose didn't run as much; my mouth watered; hair is beginning to fall out; my legs didn't feel weak this time.
Tomorrow (Thursday) - back - again - for my neupagin shot. I really don't mind going there...it's just the waiting that I hate!
We lost power today....it rained - an not even too hard - but we lost power for about 1 hour...here we finally have the whole house generator and no one was around to 'pull the cord' to start it...not even sure if we have gasoline for it. Charlie is working and called - one of the other people he works with - her husband called her to tell her they lost power...so that's why Charlie called...I told him if the power stays off until 5:30 - he better make plans on coming home for dinner - then go back to work = after he starts the generator!!! He wasn't to hip on that idea! But lucky us - the power went back on! It was actually nice not to have ANY noise in the house...other than Jersey...getting spooked by nothing but having to bark! Of course this happened right as I was dozing off....which came to an end! No nap time for me today! I should be able to sleep really well tonight!
Paul went to the city today and then is baby sitting for my niece's son tonight....he's not sure if he's coming home - he may have to go to the city tomorrow.....
My house is empty! Just me and the dogs! and neither one wants to go out! I turned off the air - so the doors are open and they can come and go...but they are content just being in the house.
Dr. May lowered my dose again this week...due to my face and eyes still red....
The weirdest (I seem to be using that word alot) symptom I have been experiencing is my eye sight is blurry....It was okay the day OF the chemo and the following day...but now, again, today it's hard to see the TV clearly or even to read the TV Guide on the screen....this I do not like!!!
Another symptom is the steroid that I get along with the chemo....this time I slept pretty good and went to bed early....my face had cleared up too...again, I was able to see....I also had a good appetite.
My nose didn't run as much; my mouth watered; hair is beginning to fall out; my legs didn't feel weak this time.
Tomorrow (Thursday) - back - again - for my neupagin shot. I really don't mind going there...it's just the waiting that I hate!
We lost power today....it rained - an not even too hard - but we lost power for about 1 hour...here we finally have the whole house generator and no one was around to 'pull the cord' to start it...not even sure if we have gasoline for it. Charlie is working and called - one of the other people he works with - her husband called her to tell her they lost power...so that's why Charlie called...I told him if the power stays off until 5:30 - he better make plans on coming home for dinner - then go back to work = after he starts the generator!!! He wasn't to hip on that idea! But lucky us - the power went back on! It was actually nice not to have ANY noise in the house...other than Jersey...getting spooked by nothing but having to bark! Of course this happened right as I was dozing off....which came to an end! No nap time for me today! I should be able to sleep really well tonight!
Paul went to the city today and then is baby sitting for my niece's son tonight....he's not sure if he's coming home - he may have to go to the city tomorrow.....
My house is empty! Just me and the dogs! and neither one wants to go out! I turned off the air - so the doors are open and they can come and go...but they are content just being in the house.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Monday, August 13th - chemo #3
My week is all thrown off....I keep forgetting what day it is today! Going for chemo on a Monday rather than a Wednesday is going to make me really have to 'think' what day it is!
Dr. May lowered the dose - again....my face is still red and my eyes are finally able to focus! I knew it was from the chemo! The steroid today has made my face clear...I didn't put blush on because it was so red...but now I look anemic because I look pale!!! no red cheeks!!!
Lots of appointments coming up: Wed. I have the pump disconnected, Thurs. I go to have the neulasta shot (white blood count down and goes down with chemo), then NEXT Thurs. I go back for blood work.....then Monday I go for chemo #4 and Wed. is disconnect...Thurs is the scans = MRI and CT, down in Basking Ridge at Sloan Kettering (rather than going to NY), and then Thursday back to Sparta for a neulasta shot....then Wed., Sept. 5 into NYC to see Dr. Kemeny and see what will happen next....more chemo? surgery for the (hockey puck) pump? ---are we having fun yet????
All this and I have a tendency to be mean to poor Charlie...he just asks me a question and I jump down his neck...poor guy...he has to take THIS from me too.....I'm just a Jeckle and Hyde person!!! Nice to others and mean to the ones that I love.....why?????
Dr. May lowered the dose - again....my face is still red and my eyes are finally able to focus! I knew it was from the chemo! The steroid today has made my face clear...I didn't put blush on because it was so red...but now I look anemic because I look pale!!! no red cheeks!!!
Lots of appointments coming up: Wed. I have the pump disconnected, Thurs. I go to have the neulasta shot (white blood count down and goes down with chemo), then NEXT Thurs. I go back for blood work.....then Monday I go for chemo #4 and Wed. is disconnect...Thurs is the scans = MRI and CT, down in Basking Ridge at Sloan Kettering (rather than going to NY), and then Thursday back to Sparta for a neulasta shot....then Wed., Sept. 5 into NYC to see Dr. Kemeny and see what will happen next....more chemo? surgery for the (hockey puck) pump? ---are we having fun yet????
All this and I have a tendency to be mean to poor Charlie...he just asks me a question and I jump down his neck...poor guy...he has to take THIS from me too.....I'm just a Jeckle and Hyde person!!! Nice to others and mean to the ones that I love.....why?????
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Wednesday, August 8th
I'm very happy! My chemo #3 was cancelled for today! Of course I waited over an hour and then Dr. May came in (she's suppose to be on vacation too) and saw how red my face and eyes were along with my blood numbers....which came down or went higher....so, now I go on Monday the 13th....I will most likely get a neupagin shot on Thursday - the day after the pump is disconnected.
I feel good....now to see if these few days the change is better for my face and eyes....
I feel good....now to see if these few days the change is better for my face and eyes....
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Sunday, August 5th
hmmmm....still Sunday....looking at the calendar I actually forgot what day it is! With Charlie working on the weekend, Paul was home today, Nicholas wasn't able to come here today as he is going back to Philadelphia to work at J & J this week - then has a wedding and off to Texas (he did stop by Saturday on his way home from Philly) and Sam not being home anymore.....my days are all mixed up!
Well, my hair is beginning to thin....I was/am ready for it...even though it's so nice and full right now....Still having a bit of 'bathroomitis'...sometimes it hits...sometimes I'm good. I do NOT get those terrible stomach spams...just an uncomfortable feeling. My face, mostly around my eyes is broken out and kind of itchy. One little mouth sore on the corner of my lip. Scalp still a little itchy but not bad...and my appetite is back.
Wednesday when I had my blood test...the quick one came back great! Friday they called and said my potassium was down, again....I kind of thought that....
I go THIS Wednesday for chemo #3.....to start this all over again....then one more chemo (on the 22nd) and then I go for my scan and visit in NYC the next two weeks....so I will probably skip one week of chemo.....or we have to see what the scans actually show.
Well, my hair is beginning to thin....I was/am ready for it...even though it's so nice and full right now....Still having a bit of 'bathroomitis'...sometimes it hits...sometimes I'm good. I do NOT get those terrible stomach spams...just an uncomfortable feeling. My face, mostly around my eyes is broken out and kind of itchy. One little mouth sore on the corner of my lip. Scalp still a little itchy but not bad...and my appetite is back.
Wednesday when I had my blood test...the quick one came back great! Friday they called and said my potassium was down, again....I kind of thought that....
I go THIS Wednesday for chemo #3.....to start this all over again....then one more chemo (on the 22nd) and then I go for my scan and visit in NYC the next two weeks....so I will probably skip one week of chemo.....or we have to see what the scans actually show.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Thursday, August 2nd
Went for blood work on Wednesday...they did a 'full' and quickie...all my numbers are good! Not one is too high or to low! But maybe my potassium is low - which I won't find out until tomorrow....
They took me right away....I was even 15 minutes early (I thought my appt. was at 11 - when it was 11:15)....so I decided to zip on over to DMV to have my car inspected...or at least to see if the line was long or short enough to get in and out right away.....as my luck would be...when I went past it I would have been the first one in line - but waiting at the stop sign - two cars went in front of me....which didn't matter at all...by the time they went through - I was able to get my license, registration and insurance card out.
They do it so different....Drove in, woman checked my papers, then asked me to 'step out of the car and sit in the passenger seat'....huh? good grief, you can't question them because they don't answer...so I walked around the car and sat! Gentleman got in and did whatever he was suppose to do...felt weird...always walked to another area while they checked the car. When I got back into my seat the guy was so sweet...he said: 'you look really good in this car' -- needless to say, he made my day!!! Had the top down too!
Came home, then had another bathroom run! and was fine the rest of the day.
Today: same thing, fine in the morning but early afternoon - battle of the bowl...quickie....but still?!!!
My face is broken out and eye area is verrrrry dry! Feels like I've been crying. My scalp is still a little itchy but not bad. Appetite isn't all that good...well, it is like it should be. I'm just not 'snacking'....I made homemade chicken noodle soup...put the pasta in the soup and of course, no broth was left...pasta soaked all the broth up! but it sure did taste good! hit the spot! Hot soup on a hot day!!! the way my mother taught me!!!
They took me right away....I was even 15 minutes early (I thought my appt. was at 11 - when it was 11:15)....so I decided to zip on over to DMV to have my car inspected...or at least to see if the line was long or short enough to get in and out right away.....as my luck would be...when I went past it I would have been the first one in line - but waiting at the stop sign - two cars went in front of me....which didn't matter at all...by the time they went through - I was able to get my license, registration and insurance card out.
They do it so different....Drove in, woman checked my papers, then asked me to 'step out of the car and sit in the passenger seat'....huh? good grief, you can't question them because they don't answer...so I walked around the car and sat! Gentleman got in and did whatever he was suppose to do...felt weird...always walked to another area while they checked the car. When I got back into my seat the guy was so sweet...he said: 'you look really good in this car' -- needless to say, he made my day!!! Had the top down too!
Came home, then had another bathroom run! and was fine the rest of the day.
Today: same thing, fine in the morning but early afternoon - battle of the bowl...quickie....but still?!!!
My face is broken out and eye area is verrrrry dry! Feels like I've been crying. My scalp is still a little itchy but not bad. Appetite isn't all that good...well, it is like it should be. I'm just not 'snacking'....I made homemade chicken noodle soup...put the pasta in the soup and of course, no broth was left...pasta soaked all the broth up! but it sure did taste good! hit the spot! Hot soup on a hot day!!! the way my mother taught me!!!
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